Most Hated Test Teams

The day after England's recent defeat in Chennai, I met up with a couple of old friends from uni, and as soon as our philistine friend departed to the ladies', the topic of conversation quickly turned to our traditional 'debate': which are the most hated teams in Test Cricket?

I was over the moon watching India beat Australia - as a 24 year old, I only vaguely remember the very end of the West Indies' dominance of world cricket, and it's been all about Australia being bad winners ever since then. I have since been delighted by South Africa's series win Down Under, and how it has highlighted 'Cheer up Ricky' Ponting's deficiencies as a Test captain now he can't chuck the ball to Warney to terrorise batsmen at one end, and McGrath at the other.

I have struggled, though, to decide whether I am happy for South Africa or just sadistically enjoying the Aussies' pain (watching those 'hoons' at the MCG when Punter got out on 99 was hilarious!) I rate Australia as my No. 1 Most Hated Test Team (capitals required - this is serious business), closely followed by Pakistan (too much random appealing, Monty style, and basically a lot of cheating down the line). Then, controversially to some, especially my old uni friend, I rank South Africa as third Most Hated Test Team. I do admit that this has come about fairly recently - I have enjoyed two trips to South Africa, and confess to an undying love of Hansie Cronje. I've even started to like Dale Steyn and AB de Villiers for some unknown (physical?) reason! I think the real problem is Graeme Smith and Jacques Kallis. Since hearing that most international cricketers despise Smith, aka The Worst Captain in the World, I completely independently decided that I should too. He always has that arrogant little snarl on his face, although judging by his current size, maybe it's just because he's hungry. Then there's Kallis, who almost took away my will to live whilst sunbathing at Newlands during England's last tour there in 2004-5 - he just could not have been any slower, and even the Saffers were bored of him.

Anyway, to return to purely cricketing reasons, India are fairly low down on my Most Hated list. Fair enough, Harbhajan Singh can be a little annoying, but I feel that Tendulkar, Dravid, Dhoni, and the rest are genuinely good guys. The other thing is, as Freddie has mentioned, it can only be good for world Test Cricket to have a successful India. With the BCCI pretty much running world cricket with the number of votes it commands at the ICC, Test fans need to have India on side. Funnily enough, I have a similar view of the inter-island Stanford Series in the West Indies, hoping that it might save young boys in the Carribean from the horrors of baseball and basketball and eventually help create a resurgent West Indian Test side.

For a moment, I was worried that the sole factor in compiling my Most Hated Test Teams list was success, and my jealousy as an England supporter of that success. But I have come to realise that it's not that at all; it's about the spirit in which cricket is played by these teams. To generalise: Australia are ungracious winners and worse losers; Pakistan are cheats; South Africa have been arrogant without cause. To my eyes, the rest of the Test-playing nations are a friendly, usually-gracious bunch, who try their best with respect and dignity, which is as it should be.

Until they're playing Australia, however: all's fair in love and cricket.